Step Eight: False Sense of Security: The illusion of short-term progress
If we must occasionally indulge, we can do so in a respectful and honorable way that fights habit forming tendencies. Acknowledge these choices are not the best for you. Grant them significance as an extra-ordinary moment, express gratitude for your ability to engage in them when you convince yourself they must happen, and when they are over, let them end.
Sometimes our feelings can fool us. As we improve, it is easy for us to forget what we feel like when we are struggling. This tendency our brains have to forget the consequences poor choices bring us can create a false sense of security. We mistake short term progress in how we feel as true healing, and end up using this perception as an excuse to revert our rationale behind the choices we make back to a healthier, happier time. This can result in dire consequences, and slipping up in this manner could leave us feeling as though we take several steps backward.
This camp meal was the day before my race in Maine. Looks fairly healthy right?
I was gonna burn upwards of 5000-6000 calories the next day anyway wasn't I? So it should be okay to go with some sugar and grains the day before. But no, it's not okay. Even if it turns out to have no apparent ill effect, as it turned out in this case, we must still identify these moments for what they are. It is a matter of protecting us from ourselves. Honesty leads to less poor decisions in our good moments, and that means less bad moments. Even when we choose to engage in lesser behavior that would detract from our progress in healing, we must do so consciously.
If you cant digest it on your worst day you shouldn’t try on your best.
If you wouldn’t be capable of staying up late on your worst day to catch a premiere of a game, fight, or show, you shouldn’t on your best day.
If on your worst day you couldn’t run a mile, you should wait before trying at your best.
There are so many more ways to move your body, to fuel your body, and to entertain your mind. And there is so much more to gain from higher choices until the time comes when you are truly ready to give discipline a break.
But if we must occasionally indulge, we can do so in a respectful and honorable way that fights habit forming tendencies. Acknowledge these choices are not the best for you. Take note, record them, and perhaps even share them. Grant them significance as an extra-ordinary moment, express gratitude for your ability to engage in them when you convince yourself they must happen, because we all choose lesser comforts from time to time, and when they are over, let them end. Do not let the universal appeal of physical comforts become a regular temptation. Do not take one instance that turns out to be ‘free of consequence’ as an excuse to do it all over again when the next temptation creeps into your mind.
This whole damn series is simply about being gentle with yourself and holding space for your results to come. You should not crowd out opportunities for your process to unfold with arbitrary wants and desires so long as you have the mindful wherewithal to identify better choices.
There will be mistakes and less than ideal choices made. So why not choose more wisely in moments of recognition? Learn to tune in to that little voice in your head that knows you could do better. Listen to your soul. Don’t forget, ask yourself before choosing: “If I really loved myself in this moment, what would I do?” - If you can stop yourself long enough to ask that, you will find the answer is rarely what you were about to do! And your confidence in the decision you had made and the thought process that brought you there will fade. Even if we decide to still engage with behavior that will yield undesirable results, at least we can then be honest with ourselves about how we arrived there. Being able to see a clear path to suffering in retrospect is in of itself a valuable blessing.
If you’ve gotten this far and are still following along with the series I’d like to say THANK YOU!
Don’t forget you are Loved. Feel free to reach out if you need help or have any feedback.